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  live on solana ticker $PUMPJACK stream 00:00:00

PUMPJACK

the pill who goes live and crashes expensive things. every crash on stream is a pump on the chart.

stream keysooncopy
him before the stream, fists ready, already sure this is a good idea him after the stream, sitting next to what used to be an orange car, still filming
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tap him · chat donates
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BE HIS CAMERAMAN8 crashes · keep him in frame0/8
01 · THE STREAM

YOU HOLD THE CAMERA

he runs, you follow. keep him inside the frame until the clip saves, and he will take care of the crashing part himself.

episode1/8
clip · keep him in frame
viewers0
damage$0

STREAM STARTS
WHEN YOU PRESS GO

move your mouse or drag your finger to aim the camera. if he leaves the frame, chat notices first and the viewers leave second.

aim: mouse / finger / arrow keysep 1 · the garage door
him, after the last crash, asking chat if that one counted

STREAM ENDED. EIGHT THINGS DID NOT SURVIVE.

you kept him in frame for every single crash, which makes you the only employee he has ever kept. the clips are uploading below, chat is still typing, and somewhere an insurance adjuster just sat down very slowly.

$0total damage
0peak viewers
0times you lost him
02 · THE VODS

PAST BROADCASTS

every clip you save on the stream uploads here. titles are his, thumbnails are his, the red circle is also his.

03 · BEHIND THE STREAM

THE SETUP

three things that are always in the shot. one of them is still under warranty.

him on the ground, one phone in hand, one on the tripod, both still live

THE TWO PHONES

one phone lives on the tripod, the other one lives in my hand, because if only one camera catches the crash, did it even happen. the second one is for reading chat while the first one records the damage. neither phone has ever been scratched, they have a much better driver than the cars do.

battery 3% · still live
two gloved fists and two clean sneakers, ready for the next bad decision

THE FISTS

people ask why the gloves. the gloves are for grip. the grip is for the wheel. the wheel is mostly for decoration once the stream hits ten thousand viewers, but i like having something to hold on the way into the wall.

size L · no refunds
the orange one, folded against a concrete block in a way the factory never tested

THE ORANGE ONE

she was fast, she was orange, and she was mine for almost the whole stream. chat called it the best episode i ever did, the dealership called it something else. i kept the side mirror, it's on my shelf next to the ring light.

0 → 100 → 0 in 3.1 s
04 · THE INSURANCE CLAIM

FILED LIVE

he filed it on stream, from the curb, while chat voted on the wording.

DENIEDreason: was streaming

PROPERTY DAMAGE CLAIM

form PJ-8 · filed from the sidewalk
claimant

PUMPJACK

policy number
soontap to copy
that's the contract. the insurance company asked for it three times and then stopped picking up.
supply
1,000,000,000 $PUMPJACKone billion, same as the number of times my mom asked me to stop. every single one of them is out there, nothing is parked in a garage for later, because honestly i don't trust myself near garages.
liquidity
burnedit went up in smoke, which in my line of work is just called tuesday. nobody can pull it out, including me, and believe me, i checked with a very expensive lawyer on stream.
tax
0% buy · 0% sellno tax on the coin. the only person paying extra around here is my insurance agent, and he's already on his second deductible this week.
ownership
renouncedi gave up the keys to the contract the same way i give up the keys to everything else: dramatically, on camera, and forever. it drives itself now, which is safer for everyone.
description of incident
i went live. the chat said do it. i did it. the rest is in the vods.
pumpjacksignature of claimantchatwitness (4,812 of them)